EVERYTHING I LOVE IS BROKEN

I’ve laughed more and looked sadder every year

I haven’t felt tired til I’ve stopped dancing

and then I’ve been a deadweight

I’ve herded my family to the car

I’ve tugged my friends down the sidewalk

I’ve flown across countries at inopportune times

I’ve done whatever it takes to get home

and I’ve carried a rock in my pocket the whole time

I’ve cried at the beach, in the shower, on the bike

I’ve hidden in bed, in the trees, in plain sight

I’ve called and was never called back

and then I’ve called again

everything but the rock I’ve carried in my pocket

is broken

everything but the rock I’ve carried in my pocket

is jagged and awkward from where it broke

everything but the rock I’ve carried in my pocket

doesn’t know how to live in this world

doesn’t know where to sit at the party

doesn’t know what to say to relatives

doesn’t know when to say goodbye

I’ve split my face apart trying

and then I’ve refused to keep secrets

I’ve stayed when I could have left

I’ve picked things up when they weren’t mine

and put things down when they were

I’ve carried this rock in my pocket because I can’t change it

and I’ve never wanted to

for a long time now I’ve known

everything I love is broken
and I’ve just wanted to go home